Release the darkness and embrace the light
Members of my adult class are working their way through the first EFT DVD course as part of their own personal development program. This week one of the students came to me and asked to see me privately. He confessed that he had been raped 20 years previously, when he was 18, by a male colleague. His life was a mess as he had never recovered from this trauma. He asked me if EFT would work, and then he put his head on the table and began to weep, as if this had taken every bit of courage for him to approach me.
We tapped: Even though I am really upset about this… After one round, he was calm and the tears had stopped. He said he felt much better and surprised himself with the calmness of his own voice. He didn’t want to continue tapping at that time but said he would return.
When he did return, he looked exceptionally unhappy and I reminded him that he didn’t have to relive the trauma. He spoke of the 15 years of therapy he had been through since his breakdown; he’d even had electric-shock therapy for his depression. He’d been on endless antidepressant pills and was suicidal two years previously. His breakdown and access to his traumatic memories had happened shortly after his divorce and his immigration to Australia.
He asked me to tap with him, just in case he got it wrong and said that he had been rubbing on the sore spot all morning in preparation for this session with me – just in case it made a difference. So if he had any resistance, it was pretty much gone by the time he arrived that morning. I asked him if he wanted to tell me what happened.
He said that when he was 18, he went to a party and got drunk and couldn’t get home. His breathing changed and his eyes filled up with tears. His level of intensity was 10 on a scale of 0 to 10. We tapped on the phrase, I couldn’t get home… and after 2 rounds, his level of intensity was zero out of 10.
He began the story again, getting further this time and saying that a male colleague drove him home. He stopped when he said, “then he kissed my genitals.” His level of intensity was 7 out of 10 and we tapped 3 rounds to go to 3 out of 10. He stayed at this level of intensity and another aspect had come up – that he couldn’t tell anyone about it. There were several aspects that we tapped on: I lost my memory … I don’t know what happened … the damage done.
Then the rape stopped being an issue and his fear of pubs and public places came up. At this point I was surrogate muscle testing (just learning it) and so felt that his collarbone and under eye were particularly strong points for this for him and so we just moved between the two for a few times as this seemed to get a quick result. The names of these aspects were: I felt afraid … scared of men … feeling anxious.
GC COMMENT: No problem if you don’t know how to surrogate muscle test. Just tap all the points (it only takes seconds) and the same result will occur.
JANE CONTINUES: He went from a level of intensity of 10 out of 10 each time a new aspect arose and then quickly down to a 3 and then zero out of 10. For these secondary issues he seemed to get the biggest response and relief at the collarbone and chin points.
After about fifteen minutes, the intensity in his manner had disappeared but I could sense there was still something – so I asked him if he could try to make himself feel bad. I asked if he could tell the stories again. Each time I asked him to return to any of the traumatic memories, he just kept repeating that he couldn’t find it anymore He said, “I know it happened but I can’t see it – I can’t find it.”
He was then happy to leave and said, “Really sorry Jane but to be honest I found the last ten minutes a little bit boring!” I laughed and said that that was quality evidence that EFT worked!. We then discussed that because he had some memory blocks, he might have repressed memories surface at another time. I suggested that he ignore the content but to tap for the emotion attached to them – he was happy to go with this plan of action.
A week later he didn’t turn up for class. I was worried that other aspects had surfaced. However, he rang to say that he was having a bad day. I asked if he was still dealing with last week’s issues. He said he was dealing with a current issue – something he was just disappointed with. I asked how he was doing with the issue we had worked on. He said it was gone…
“It’s funny I don’t know why I was so stuck for all those years about it.”
Now, this is a man who had acute agoraphobia because of his fears … had never gone for a pint in a pub because he was scared of men … had not been able to stand in a line at a checkout of a supermarket for fear of people behind him … and who cried at any problem. Now he just has bad days like the rest of us! I finished the conversation by suggesting that he tap for his frustration in the present situation and he said, “I don’t think I need to do that – it’s not that bad!”